


hold me in your arms

by oakleaf_bearer



Series: scottish safehouse fics [5]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Miscommunication, Morning Cuddles, Sharing a Bed, martin has gay panic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27976167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oakleaf_bearer/pseuds/oakleaf_bearer
Summary: Martin was having a crisis. Tim would probably have called this gay panic, but Martin just thought it was regular panic.He was, all things considered, handling it astonishingly well. He hadn't got up and started pacing yet, or even wringing his hands or fidgeting, he was just laying there, considering his options. To be fair, the source of his panic, one Jonathan Sims, was stopping his usual nervous outlets by sprawling across him, snoring lightly, and drooling on Martin's shoulder.-sleepy cuddles between two idiots who dont realise theyre in love
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Series: scottish safehouse fics [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912657
Comments: 43
Kudos: 310





	hold me in your arms

Martin was having a crisis. Tim would probably have called this gay panic, but Martin just thought it was regular panic. 

He was, all things considered, handling it astonishingly well. He hadn't got up and started pacing yet, or even wringing his hands or fidgeting, he was just laying there, considering his options. To be fair, the source of his panic, one Jonathan Sims, was stopping his usual nervous outlets by sprawling across him, snoring lightly, and drooling on Martin's shoulder. 

Adorable, and a little bit gross. 

Martin shifted slightly, trying to get his arm out from underneath Jon's bony shoulders. Jon curled closer, letting out a small whine of protest. Martin stilled. 

Jon wasn't a cuddly person. He was prickly and mean and yeah, Martin had barely spoken to him for almost a year, but he couldn't have changed that much. Right? Jon had certainly become more... friendly around the time of the Unknowing, and he'd even embraced Martin before they'd left, but a full personality shift from dickish boss to affectionate limpet was too much to ask for. Had he always been like this? Could Martin have bundled him up in a hug and watched him melt all the way back when they'd started working in the archives? Obviously not, that was a ridiculous thought, they'd hardly known each other and Jon had hated him with a passion, but still. Was Jon secretly a cuddly person?

If the way he nestled into Martin's side was anything to go by, the answer was yes. 

Martin gazed down at him, propping his chin at an awkward angle to let him see Jon's face. He seemed so peaceful. His eyes were closed and his mouth was hanging open slightly, disturbing the few strands of hair that had gotten over his face as he moved in his sleep. Martin had expected him to be more restless in his sleep, plagued by nightmares like Martin so often was, but it was possible that exhaustion had let him have one peaceful night. Maybe that was his plan, keep pushing himself until his mind was too tired to concoct any hellish scenarios, and then just pass out on top of Martin. 

Not that Martin was complaining. Jon was warm, a snoring little space heater clinging to Martin's side, keeping the leeching cold of the Lonely at bay. 

It was just that Martin was desperately gay and his very beautiful boyfriend was currently curled up against him like a cat, despite the fact they hadn't really discussed their boundaries before going to bed. Christ, they hadn't even discussed if they were even comfortable sleeping in the same bed. Martin hadn't asked for permission to claim the other side of the bed as his own, what if Jon woke up with Martin's presence, heaven forbid Martin's arm around him, and demanded he get out, leave, never come back, because how _dare_ he assume he was allowed to have this without asking first. 

Jon shifted, blinking his eyes blearily. He frowned, gazing up at Martin. 

"Hi." Martin tried to keep his voice steady. 

Jon groaned and buried his face in Martin's chest. 

Not a morning person. Interesting. 

"Jon, I need to get up."

A louder groan. It was unfair how sweet Jon looked like this, especially when Martin was feeling this bad for thinking that. 

"I'll make us some breakfast, you just need to let me up." 

There was a long pause, and then Jon rolled away, pulling the covers with him. Martin stood, escaping from the warmth and comfort of their shared bed and into the cold, harsh light of the bathroom. 

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. 

"Fuck."

Martin was full of horrible, sickening guilt for the rest of the day. He didn't meet Jon's eyes to avoid the disgusted anger that they probably held. 

It wasn't until lunchtime that Martin realised that he couldn't avoid Jon forever; the other mans presence in the kitchen was like a pressure against Martin's chest, reminding him how awful he had been to assume Jon wouldn't hate him. 

Handing Jon a mug full of tea was the most Martin would allow himself to be near him. 

Jon took the mug and set it on the table, taking a deep breath. "We should talk. About last night." 

The dam broke. "I'm so, so sorry, I should have asked before I just assumed, you know, there was a bed and it was nighttime, but I shouldn't have just, just, I should've asked if you were okay with us sharing-"

"Martin." Jon held up a hand. "Martin, it's me who should apologise."

"I- What?" That caught Martin thoroughly off guard. 

"I didn't intend to make you uncomfortable, I am very sorry. It was unfair to you to have to deal with my oversight during the night, I apologise. I'll take the sofa tonight to avoid any unfortunate repeats." 

Martin blinked. "What?"

"I shouldn't have..." Jon searched for the word. "Cuddled you like that without your permission. It was wrong of me." He grimaced. 

"Jon, I didn't mind." Martin said, quietly. "I really didn't mind." 

"But," Jon frowned. "But I was all over you, I was in your space. It can't have been pleasant."

Ooh boy, if only Jon knew. If only Jon had any idea how desperately Martin wanted even a fraction of contact between them. 

"You needed rest, you weren't thinking. I shouldn't have touched you, it's my fault, you were asleep and I should've known better."

Jon froze, shoulders tense. "Touched me?"

' _Here we go_ ,' Some small part of Martin's brain said. ' _Here's the part where he throws us out and tells us he hates us. It was fun while it lasted, at least we got to call Jon our boyfriend for all of 24 hours.'_

"You were curled up on my- on my chest, and I had my arm around you." Martin trailed off, feeling painfully awkward. 

"Your arm around me." Jon said carefully, staring at his mug. "Is that it?" 

"Yes?"

"Then that's not a problem. Like you said, I was lying on you, if anyone should feel embarrassed here it's me."

"You were asleep!"

"So were you!" 

Martin felt a little lost. He'd expected Jon to shout at him, not to be smiling softly up at Martin like he couldn't believe his eyes. "Martin, did you think I was angry at you?"

"Well, aren't you?"

Jon was smiling properly now. "Not at all."

"So... you don't hate me for it?"

"To be honest, I thought you were upset with me."

"Why?"

"Because I was on top of you! I was literally asleep _on_ you, having the best nights sleep I've gotten in years, but then today you've been avoiding me, and I'm trying to not to Know things so I didn't want to ask the Eye. I thought I should just come out and say sorry." 

Martin felt himself start to grin. "Let me get this straight. I thought you were upset with me, and you thought I was upset with you, despite neither of us actually being upset with the other."

Jon laughed lightly. "That seems to be it." He lifted the mug to take a sip out of it. "We are such messes."

"I'm pretty sure most couples don't have this conversation." Martin said, shaking his head with a smile. 

Jon choked on his tea. "Couples?" He croaked. 

Martin felt his stomach drop again. "I mean... aren't we? I thought that- You- The Lonely."

"You said you loved me. _Loved_. Past tense, over, done with, I thought..." Jon gazed at him and Martin wanted to cry. 

"Jon, I love you. I love you so much it nearly kills me."

"But- _loved_."

"Love. I don't mind if you don't feel the same, but I've spent so long pretending it was all past tense that I just don't want to anymore. I'm sick of it. I love you, right here, right now, and for once in my life I want to be honest about-"

Jon surged towards him, stumbling slightly in his haste to get out of his chair. He collided with Martin, arms going around his neck, pulling him close and burying his face in Martin's neck. Shock overtook Martin for a moment as his brain emptied of all thoughts beyond _Jon_. 

"Why would you say loved?" Jon's voice was muffled by Martin's shirt. "I thought you didn't anymore."

"Jon..." Martin wrapped his arms around Jon, pulling him tightly against himself, so much dizzying, electrifying contact between them. "I love you. I love you."

"Really?" 

"Really."

Jon let out a short laugh. "Can't imagine why."

Martin pulled him impossibly closer. "A thousand reasons."

Jon leant away from him slightly so he could look Martin in the eye. "Martin. Oh, Martin." It was adorably soft, and Martin felt his heart melt. "I love you too. So much that I thought you would be the death of me, until I realised that I wanted to live if only I could see your smile again. I missed you so much."

"I missed you too. God, I missed you so much. I guess that was part of it all, though. Part of being lonely."

"You don't have to miss me anymore. I'm right here." Jon stared up at him, big beautiful eyes full of such vulnerability. 

"I know. I know."

Martin pulled him back, breathing in the smell of Jon's wonderfully boring shampoo, and feeling that for once, he could be happy. He could wake up every morning with this man beside him, wrapped in each other's arms and curled impossibly close to each other. He could listen to Jon's gentle snoring in the early morning light, he could hold Jon's hand when they went to the shop in the village, he could pull him close while they sat on the sofa, a fire cracklings in the hearth, books in their hands and hearts on their sleeves. 

He loved Jon and Jon loved him back, and there was nothing that Elias or anyone else could do to break that. 

**Author's Note:**

> me writing this fic: :)  
> me writing the last line: >:)
> 
> come find me [on insta](https://www.instagram.com/statement_boo_gins/) or [on tumblr](https://oakleaf--bearer.tumblr.com/)
> 
> comments and kudos keep me writing, pls leave some <3


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